My 17 month old is driving me insane! What I’m doing to bring back the peace and calm to my heart and my home.

I just can’t seem to get it right with this kid!  What’s a Mom to do when her baby is out of control with biting, hitting, and way too bull headed and independent behavior for his less than 2 yr. existence on this Earth?  What do I do when I painfully, and often tearfully realize the child I want to scream at, smack (which we don’t do), and just walk away from is exactly like me, or at least how I used to be before I took myself on my own self-help journey to a slightly more calm existence.  Emphasizing the slightly. I’m still working on it!

I knew the day I heard there were going to be two Taurus, the Bulls (me and my baby) in my house, there were going to be some challenges.  I literally feel like I’ve been butting heads with my baby since day one from the breast feeding debacle to now.  I don’t know if my Mom ever wished I’d have a child just like me to give me a dose of my own medicine, but if she did, wish granted!  It’s to the point where I find myself having anxiety about the anticipation of how he’s going to act in any given moment, and how I’m going to deal with it, because so far, I’m striking out big time!  

I’m not about letting my kids or their behavior run my family’s life, but there’s no denying the anxiety I feel every time we go out especially to eat somewhere.  Is he gonna freak out, scream and throw his food, and everything else I give him, at me and everyone else, and be absolutely inconsolable to the point I have to walk away and cry, which I’ve done by the way, or worse yet, cut our meal short and totally abort the situation?  Looks like then, he is controlling our lives. I’m not saying, or even thinking that my baby is some sort of devil child. He has many sweet, funny moments that I’m doing my best to focus on even when he’s slapping my face at wind up range, or kicking me as he throws a mini tantrum because he’s not getting his way. This is totally new territory for me.  I feel like I’ve got it almost figured out with my 4 yr. old.  How to teach him acceptable from unacceptable behavior and how to nip it in the bud quick.  What works for my 4 yr. old means absolutely nothing to my 17 mo. old. And, I don’t want to hear the excuse,” Oh he’s just a baby.”  I recently asked him to put back the throw pillows he just threw off of the couch at one of the homes we were looking at during one of our house hunting adventures, and he did exactly what I asked him to do.  So, he gets it!  I just need to figure out a way to stay calm enough to communicate in a way my baby responds to positively

What I’ve learned so far.

  • My baby is completely different than my 4 yr. old.  Like salt and pepper, and my little pepper’s got all the spice!  Everything that’s worked for my 4 yr. old is exactly the opposite of what my baby responds to.
  • My kid’s the biter!  Ugh!  So, first I went to the, “Victor, no thank you.  No biting!” “Be nice!”  Then, it would be off to the pack n play for a time out, which he didn’t like, but as soon as he came out, he deliberately went back in for the bite!  I was at my wits end, when my Mom suggested redirecting him to something positive like hugs.  So, we’re trying it, and it’s working much better than my approach.  Actually, it’s made him more of a hugger overall, which is always a good thing!  So, now as soon as he bites, we say, “Victor, hugs.” And, 8 times out of 10 he goes right in for the hug.  Thanks for the advice Mom!
  • My go-to, “Victor, No Thank You,” or if I’ve absolutely had it, and just yell, “Victor, No!” to correct my baby when doing the unsafe or wrong thing just makes him do more of what I don’t want him to do.  I switched to trying to say what I want him to do like, “Victor, please come down off the stairs.”  This seems to work better. Even at 17 mos. he seems to follow directions ok. It gets me tongue tied sometimes just trying to revamp the order and tone of my words from one kid to the next!  I guess it’s a switch I just have to flip to try and get this right!  
  • I raise my voice to correct my 4 yr. old, he tunes in. I raise my voice to my baby, he tunes out. He’s just like his Mommy.  You come at me yelling and screaming, or even with a raised voice, and we’re getting nowhere fast. Same goes for my baby.  So, I'm doing my best (with some major pauses for deep breaths), to keep it calm and clear when it comes to the verbal exchange with my baby.

Should I say lessons from my baby are in full effect in my house?  You better believe it!  I think through all of the frustration, challenge, and sometimes yelling and screaming comes the realization that my baby is teaching me to be a better communicator!  I just have to find ways to keep my cool as the lessons come blazing in.  I’m gonna need more Yoga!

Most importantly, I have to come to more peaceful place in my heart with my little guy.  I have to let go of the moments that drive my insane to the point of tears, and see things from a different view.  A view that’s a little lighter on me and my baby.  Understanding we’re both learning as we go.  Remembering that as long as I’m open to new ways of approaching the situation, that new outcomes will arise.  And, remembering above all, to Love him and myself through it.  

Here’s to learning and growing in Love!  

 

Comments

Every child is different and even require different disciplining at different ages. Keeps us parents on our toes! I think the important thing is to love and discipline. It comes down to those things, in that order. :)

Thanks for sharing!

Lulu
simplylulustyle.com

Great points Lulu!  Totally agree.  Learning to be patient and love ourselves and our children through discipline while continuously having to adapt and re-route your methods of discipline as each child grows more into their own, I think is the greatest challenge. Trying to patiently take it one moment at a time!

Best,

Dani

Post a comment

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Each email address will be obfuscated in a human readable fashion or (if JavaScript is enabled) replaced with a spamproof clickable link.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

3 Tricks to Get Your Kids to Drink Green Juice. And, Like It! Plus 3 Awesome Green Juice Recipes!

Boogies, snots, and tummy bugs, oh my!  Summer just ended yesterday, and it’s starting already.  Cold and Flu come early.  Not for your kiddos!  Get your arsenal ready, and gear up those Immune Systems Mom!  Getting your little ones to drink green juice even 3-4 times/week can help boost the immune system big time.  We’re talking antioxidants, super, alkalizing foods, and all kinds of keep you healthy and happy goodies stuffed into these beveys.  So, how in the world do you get your kids to chug one of these swampy looking concoctions?  Here are the 3 tricks I use to get my 4 and 16 mo. olds asking for their own green juice.  Well, my 16 mo. old just makes all kinds of excited sounds and hand gestures that say, “Gimme Some Green Juice Please,” and he chugs it down.  This is hands down, one of the best things you can share with your kiddos to boost their healthy and happy.  So, let’s get our green on!

Be Leaner and Lighter by Tomorrow Morning. Seriously!

3 Simple Steps to Looking and Feeling Leaner and Lighter by Tomorrow Morning

***You only have to do these things 5 days/week to work!  The other 2 days are “Free Be’s” to keep you from going crazy neurotic thinking you have to be perfect to look and feel good!***

It seriously only takes 1 day for you to feel a difference.  This has been a God send for me since I found out I tested positive for a genetic abnormality where basically my cells suck at doing their jobs, especially when it comes to protein, carb, and fat metabolism.   Really, every one of them could use turbo boosters!  I’ll go in to more about this later.  But, this plus the way I work out (only 4 days/week, 1 being yoga for 30 minutes or less), has kept my body feeling and looking the best it can be as I work on getting that gene thing straightened out. My clients are loving it too!  Try it, and see for yourself!
 

Dani’s Daily Eats

Here’s what going on my plate today to keep me fit and feeling good!
 
Breakfast

Cereal Mix of the Day

Bowl of Nature’s Path Pumpkin Flax Cereal mixed with GF Pumpkin Fig granola by Purely Elizabeth
Unsweetened Almond Milk

Snack #1

Kale Chip Smoothie   *GF, Dairy Free, Soy Free, Vegan*

kale chip smoothyServes 1
1 medium ripe banana
2 long leaves of kale (de-stemmed)
¼ Avocado
1 tbsp. Raw Cocoa Nibs
1 c. almond, cashew, or coconut milk
1 c. Ice
Add all ingredients to blender and blend until smooth.

Lunch

Salmon Salad over Field Greens  *GF, Dairy Free, Soy Free*

Serves 1
1 can wild pink Alaskan salmon boneless/skinless, no salt added

Wild Alaska Pink Salmon  Dinner

2 tbsp. Soy Free Veganaise
1 tsp EVO
Fresh Ground Black Pepper to taste
Diced Red Onion to taste
1. Mix everything in bowl, and spread over mixed field greens.  Top off salmon salad with diced sweet peppers (color of choice)

To Plan or Not to Birth Plan?

Going on my third child, I’ve learned a very important thing about plans, they change!  Us Moms learn this day one on the job. As a new, Mom-to-be about to give birth 4 years ago, I was all about the birth plan. I wanted to learn about all the options available to me and my baby to ensure our health and safety, so I went all in with my self-education. I’m glad I did it then when I had the time to explore and decide without the distraction of other kiddos and a thousand additional things on my plate.

So, plan I did.  I had my birth plan all mapped out, and printed on fluorescent yellow paper, so it was easy to find in the file, and distributed to all of my nurses. I think back, and think, “Wow, that was pretty funny!”  But, it was important to me at the time, so I’m glad I did it. How things change!  My once preconceived notion of how labor and delivery was supposed to go, took a couple sharp left turns that left me almost completely abandoning my well thought out birth plan. Only the most important things to me and my husband remained, which were respectfully honored by our medical staff.  My once strong willed commitment to a med free, vaginal delivery, changed to praising God for epidurals, and the gift of peace of rest while I labored throughout the night. I was, thankfully able to have 2 vaginal deliveries with both of my boys.  Being induced due to kidney stones with my second son opened my eyes to yet a whole new labor and delivery experience. And, so the story continues. I will try again and give it my best to have a natural, vaginal delivery the third time around, but this time I’m leaving my heart and mind completely open to all possibilities, and being totally at peace with the twists and turns.

Kick the Heartburn and Indigestion during Pregnancy with these Natural Solutions that work

You’re pregnant, you’re feeling big and uncomfortable, and you’re throwing up in your mouth. Yuck!  Heartburn, reflux, and indigestion are no friends to any pregger.  Here’s the skinny on how to put out the fire, and prevent it from happening in the first place.

    NEVER drink fluids while eating! It dilutes digestive enzymes, which help with digestion. Drink at least 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water daily between Meals. Dehydration is a big cause of indigestion and heartburn, so drink up!

    BOOST Acid levels in your stomach with Apple Cider Vinegar about 10 minutes after meals if you’re caught with a fire in your chest and throat.  Option: Start with 1/2 tsp ACV + 1 cup water. Drink it down!

    PAPAYA: Either try a tablespoon of papaya 10 minutes before meals, or chewable papaya enzymes to boost enzyme production about 10 minutes before meals.

    DO eat 5 small meals throughout the day. If your schedule is too "on the go" to do this, I suggest getting a "Food Bag" packed with some quick to grab, quick to satisfy, items, like cheese sticks, hummus cups, guac cups, vegggie sticks, apple, peanut/almond butter packets, raw nuts, etc. Here is a loose example of a 5 meals/day plan. Of course, no Brie (pasteurized cheese only) and no juice (unless it's a fresh blended juice with veggies and fruits).

My Scare on the Turnpike: A story every Mom should hear.

We’re on our way home from a fun, relaxing weekend at my brother’s lake house.  Shore traffic has us in bumper to bumper traffic with a toddler and baby in the back seat, me driving, and Daddy in the passenger seat. What should’ve only been a 2 hour trip was turning into a 3 plus hour tour. Gotta love family road trips in the summer!  About 3 hours in to the ride my 14 month old started losing it.  No binky, toy, or song could console this kid.  My 4 yr. old keeps chiming in, “Mommy, Victor’s crying.”  Like I can’t hear it.  We decide to give him a snack.  One that he’s eaten in the past plenty of times, so I think he’s good with safely eating it. We do this all the time, right?  Fussing kid in car, offer snack, bring back the peace.  My husband has never been ok with the kids eating in the car while we’re driving, but I figured he’s in the front seat if they need help, and they eat these foods with no problem all the time. Right?  Wrong!

Lessons from the NICU

Being a new Mom is hard.  Throw in the NICU, and you’re upping the challenge factor big time.  My first born Roman, who is now 4, was my NICU baby.  Roman was born with SVT (a heart condition) and Hirshsprung’s Disease, which he needed reconstructive bowel surgery to correct at the ripe age of 6 weeks old.  Talk about being thrown in to the fire as a parent! Every day we were faced with life changing decisions and situations that needed our undivided attention, and absolute focus.  It was game day every day!  My son’s health, and his future state of wellbeing was in our hands, and every decision we made affected it. 

At first I was a mess.  Dealing with post-partum emotions, petrified of what I was going to come in to every day as I entered the NICU, and just plain angry about even having to go through something like this. All this in addition to being exposed to all the challenges the other babies in the NICU were facing on a daily basis.  Every time a beeping sound or alarm went off your heart felt like it was going to pound right through your chest as you checked to see if it was your baby who needed the urgent attention. It was tough, but with all these challenges came strength, gratitude, and a renewed sense of faith.

Warning Signs to Take it Down a Notch with your Pregger Workouts!

I'm all about staying fit and active when I'm pregger, and helping other preggers do the same.  And, why not? The benefits to me and baby are awesome!  I love, love, love my babes, but totally cringe at being prego, so working out keeps me feeling as close to myself as possible, decreases stress, and just helps me feel as good as I can during one of my least favorite times. 

Proof keeps popping up everywhere supporting how much baby benefits too, like decreased risk of diabetes, heart disease, and improves learning and behavioral strengths.  So, bring on the workouts, right?  Yes, as long as you feel good during and after, and don't have any of these warning signs that raise the red flag to take it down a notch.  If you were rocking out high intensity interval training and running competitively before pregnancy, then keep on keepin' on until your body tells you to change it up. And, don't be so hard on yourself or in denial when you need to switch things up like I was with my first pregnancy, exit Ego!  There are so many ways to challenge yourself and stay fit during pregnancy, (stay tuned to future posts on how to do this), so gear up with a positive, all things possible attitude, and carry on.  You can stay just as fit and feeling good with your new, improved body/baby friendly workouts. Remember, it's all about your perspective, so choose a good one, and your body and baby will thank you!

Protein Packed Pumpkin Muffins

I'm like the hungry caterpillar! This Mommy is always on the move. Like you, right?  Whether I'm taking care of my todd and baby, teaching group ex classes and boot camps, or fitting in my 20 minute power workouts, I am pretty much in "Go" mode all day. I'm always looking for quick, grab n' go, healthy snacks that will fuel me up as I take on my day. These "Power Me Up Muffins" are one of my go to's. I borrowed the bulk of this recipe from pumpkinpaleomuffins.com. Big thanks to them! Then, I tweaked and played a bit, and this is what I got. What's beautiful about these is they are:

  • Easy to make
  • Healthy
  • Delish
  • Gluten, Soy, Dairy Free, and Paleo friendly, and yes, still good!
  • Loaded with Protein, Omega "Fit" Fats, Antioxidants, Magnesium, Fiber, and Vitamin E.  Much love for the mind and body!

 

Pumpkin "Power You Up" Muffins

Recipe: